Beginning of the Memoirs
I think this is the beginning of a long set of memoirs about being a wife to a Wharton MBA student. Shoot, we're too old for the word student. People who mark their status as "student" are most likely 19, wearing some kind of weird banana suit and drinking cheap brewskies. But that's what Cam is going to be, a freaking student. With a wife. And a kid. And oh shiz, another kid.
When I tell people Cameron is getting his MBA they usually have a long list of questions for me. I'll save everyone the hassle and list a FAQ right here:
1. "Philadelphia?! What school is there?! And why move across the country?"
Good question. So yes, Philadelphia. The actual school is the Wharton School of Business at the University of Pennsylvania. And we're moving across the country because it's a good school. Yep.
2. "Sheesh, well do you have a place to live yet?"
No. Yeah....no.
3. "So will Cameron at least be working part of the time?"
Haha, um ::clears throat:: that's another no-skee. He's going to school full time.
4. "Well what are you going to do for money? Are you going to work?"
::starts sweating profusely:: Um, well, we are going to take on massive amounts of ::cough:: debt. ::hard swallow:: ::intensely heavy pressure on my chest:: ::oh shiz am I drowning?:: ::no, I'm on dry land:: ::I'll just be drowning in heavy amounts of debt pretty soon:: ::dizzy and lightheaded:: ::still sweating profusely:: ::definitely have pit stains::
5. "Uh, hello? (snaps fingers a few times in my face) are you at least going to work?
Well, the cost of daycare in Philadelphia would be more money than I could actually make (this is when I am now mentally reprimanding myself for switching from an economics major to a humanities major. Why did I switch?! Oh yeah, because I sucked at economics.) ::snaps back to reality:: So my plan is to write a book, become famous and then we'll be set.
6. "A book? Why are you crying and pulling out your hair?! Get it together!"
Yes a book dangit! It's going to be a teen dystopian novel about a sexy merman who likes to tie up his girlfriend during "intimate time." I'm going to call it "50 Shades of King Triton." It's going to be great. It's a series. Then it'll become a movie (and hello they'll make the last book into 2 movies) and then the Pacific ocean will become super famous and then they'll even start a cruise line based on my books where they'll retrace the steps of my mercharacters and search for King Triton's famously sexy tie. It's basically a cash cow. (By now I've completely entered into a psychotic breakdown)
7. "So....preschool or joyschool?"
I'm definitely not going to have time to teach joyschool because I'm going to be so wrapped up in writing my novel! (said through tears) Joshy will go to preschool! if he makes it past the 5 year wait list! and I will fund the $6000 preschool tuition with my mer-novel!
8. "Yikes! Good luck!"
:: no response:: ::swimming in tears and own perspiration::
So there ya go!
When I tell people Cameron is getting his MBA they usually have a long list of questions for me. I'll save everyone the hassle and list a FAQ right here:
1. "Philadelphia?! What school is there?! And why move across the country?"
Good question. So yes, Philadelphia. The actual school is the Wharton School of Business at the University of Pennsylvania. And we're moving across the country because it's a good school. Yep.
2. "Sheesh, well do you have a place to live yet?"
No. Yeah....no.
3. "So will Cameron at least be working part of the time?"
Haha, um ::clears throat:: that's another no-skee. He's going to school full time.
4. "Well what are you going to do for money? Are you going to work?"
::starts sweating profusely:: Um, well, we are going to take on massive amounts of ::cough:: debt. ::hard swallow:: ::intensely heavy pressure on my chest:: ::oh shiz am I drowning?:: ::no, I'm on dry land:: ::I'll just be drowning in heavy amounts of debt pretty soon:: ::dizzy and lightheaded:: ::still sweating profusely:: ::definitely have pit stains::
5. "Uh, hello? (snaps fingers a few times in my face) are you at least going to work?
Well, the cost of daycare in Philadelphia would be more money than I could actually make (this is when I am now mentally reprimanding myself for switching from an economics major to a humanities major. Why did I switch?! Oh yeah, because I sucked at economics.) ::snaps back to reality:: So my plan is to write a book, become famous and then we'll be set.
6. "A book? Why are you crying and pulling out your hair?! Get it together!"
Yes a book dangit! It's going to be a teen dystopian novel about a sexy merman who likes to tie up his girlfriend during "intimate time." I'm going to call it "50 Shades of King Triton." It's going to be great. It's a series. Then it'll become a movie (and hello they'll make the last book into 2 movies) and then the Pacific ocean will become super famous and then they'll even start a cruise line based on my books where they'll retrace the steps of my mercharacters and search for King Triton's famously sexy tie. It's basically a cash cow. (By now I've completely entered into a psychotic breakdown)
7. "So....preschool or joyschool?"
I'm definitely not going to have time to teach joyschool because I'm going to be so wrapped up in writing my novel! (said through tears) Joshy will go to preschool! if he makes it past the 5 year wait list! and I will fund the $6000 preschool tuition with my mer-novel!
8. "Yikes! Good luck!"
:: no response:: ::swimming in tears and own perspiration::
So there ya go!
Hahaha!! This is so great, but I am so sad! I had no idea you guys were moving. An MBA will be awesome! You will make pleeeenty when he is done, and it will be worth the investment. Plus, I totally can't wait for your mermaid novel series! Can I preorder now? I too was a humanities major, English in fact. And although I don't make diddly now, at least we can say we are cultured, right? :) If you need any help moving, let me know. I have endless entertainment for kiddos and a husband who can lift things and I am pretty handy with a mop. :)
ReplyDeleteKatie, some one from the ward told me about your blog and how funny it was. I forget who it was now, but they were right. You are a very talented writer and hilarious! Sad you guys are moving, but hooray for an MBA. Kris did his MBA while we had Evelyn and Lillian joined after the first year. Its SUCKS being a single parent, cause let's face it that's what you'll be, but it was worth it. He loved school and we are already seeing the return from our investment. Boo for student loans, but hey you'll just be joining the rest of us who will be paying them off for the next...um decade! I hope you keep blogging so we can follow your next adventure. Krista Meng. P.S. We keep a blog too, but mine is just an update of the kiddos, nothing too thought provoking. mengfamily.blogspot.com email me, Kristaleena@hotmail.com if you want to take a looksie. P.P.S I snipped by boy and vaccinate my kids too! :)
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