Won't you be my neighbor

Now that I'm over 8 months pregnant I've started to become the total grumpy/crazy pregnant lady cliche. This week I've stayed in my apartment practically the whole time--which is probably contributing to the crazy lady vibe I'm sending out. Anywho, because of my self inflicted jail sentence, I've noticed I've become like Shia Laboeuf from that weird old scary movie Disturbia. I hear/see waaay too much of my neighbors. So here's my stalker download.

• A & P: They're the only neighbors I like. They actually have names but I felt weird putting their names up on the internet. Super awesome couple who have a 2 year old son (who is adorable and gives me hope that I won't hate my own 2 year old son) and the wife is due with a baby girl like 3 days after me. They are great. Oh, and they also gave us 6 boxes of their sons baby clothes. Rock on.
• Ciggy McSmokepipe: Crazy jewish lady who lives across and up from us. The only time I see/smell her is when she is out in front of her door wearing cra-cra-crazy clothes and smoking the weirdest smelling cigarettes for the rest of the complex to inhale. And no, its not pot. "Oh Katie, how would you know what pot smells like?" Two words: older brother. Needless to say her funky smokes piss me off every time I smell them and I slam my sliding glass door shut.
• How to Catch a Predator: Pretty sure this guy is a serial killer. Or so lonely that he is creepy. He dresses like a Hollywood producer would--you know, the velour sweat suit and a baseball cap that he puts his little ponytail through. He just talks too much, and gives too much advice. And says creepy things like "Oh I saw that some repairmen came to your apartment today." NO. Just, no. I now keep my blinds closed.
• Mr. and Mrs. Weiner: I know I have no room to talk but this couple looks like some weird cult took two children and married them. They both look like child brides. That is weird. Oh, and the only time I see them is when they go out to walk their weiner dog. Hence Mr. and Mrs. Weiner.
• Twin Ararbic Nightmares: One family has two twin boys who live on the first floor. They are the worst kids in the world. I mean seriously, the worst two year olds you can imagine. Again, you ask, Katie, what would you know about bad two year olds...my son/daughter was sooo bad blah blah blah. No, seriously. They are worse than your worst kid because there are TWO of them. I only hear them scream/screech, yell at their parents, and cry. Yesterday they threw such a crazy fit that everyone in the apartment complex could hear it--and they were indoors. So guess what? Some crazy person called the cops on them! What?! I feel bad for the parents. And no, it wasn't me.
• Creep: I honestly have no idea who lives above us but I can hear them...and it freaks me out. Understandably, every now and then I take a bathroom break at like 2 or 3 in the morning. That is when this person is showering. No, its weird, really. Because its 2 or 3 am on a TUESDAY. Not a friday or saturday night. And, ugh, the worst part---their intimate life. It doesn't happen very often but when it does it literally makes the dogs in the neighborhood bark it gets so loud. I'm talking like sound bites straight out of Sex and the City--no wait, more like a super bad cliched porno. Cam and I just look at each other, and then go play a movie or try and talk over it. It is crazy.
• Twiggy on weed withdrawals: Really skinny pretty lady who just moved in. I tried to make friends with her but she is TERRIFIED of me. Don't worry, you can't catch pregnancy.

And thats about all the people I come in contact with in my complex. I guess I could try and make more friends with people...but I really just don't want to. Come on, you just saw how crazy they are.