The Boo-Boo Box

I think it still surprises people that Cam and I are living in L.A. Whenever we tell friends from BYU or even people from our hometowns they say..."Oh! what part of L.A.? like Burbank? or Orange County?" #1. What? Orange County? Do you say that because they are both places in Southern California? Because that is about all they have in common with each other.

So no, universe, our address says "Los Angeles" and our area code is 90025. Also, Its west L.A. so its totally awesome and not scary. Yeah there was that incident with the bank robbers hiding in a basement behind my apartment and the LAPD blocked off the street and had the helicopter circling for hours...but that was just that one time. But really, we live in Westwood which has Bel Air to the north, Beverly Hills to the east, and Santa Monica to the West. Its actually a really nice area with a minimal number of homeless people.

So, as you could tell from previous blog posts I was sooooo excited to move back to Southern California because I thought L.A. would just be one big fun extension of Yorba Linda. Wrong. I hated LA the first few months we lived here. If I want to run errands I can only go out between the hours of 11:00am and 2:00pm or else I'll get stuck in traffic for hours. It takes like 20 minutes to drive to our grocery store, and then another 20 minutes to fight over a parking spot with some young asian BMW owner (not racist, its just fact) and maze through pro-abortionists who ask me to donate money so they can light republicans on fire.

I thought the grocery store was bad until I thought I'd venture a few miles out and go to Costco. Costco is, afterall, my safe place and the 2nd happiest place on earth to me. I get there, and of course, the parking situation is bad. But the warehouse seemed to be made to fit the exact specifications of my worst nightmare. People. everywhere. Swarming like maggots. Sample tables everywhere. all the muffins are freaking sold out. I tried so hard. I tried going at all different times on different days to see if it made a difference at all. Guess what, it didn't. Even if you get there 20 minutes before the place opens, there are 50 people lined up in front of the doors to get in--again, not exaggerating its a fact.

I just came to avoid it...and I used my pregnancy as an excuse. "Well, they have all of that seafood sitting out, and all the people smell like B.O. and I hate vomiting in public blah blah blah." So I stopped going. But people kept asking me to buy things for parties etc and the line was "Oh! it's so easy! just go to costco and they'll have it there!"

The only way I can describe how I felt when someone suggested I go there, is that scene from Hook. Captain Hook is having a meeting with all of his pirates and then brings up something that someone did wrong. The offending pirate then comes and begs for forgiveness totally crying with tears and snot everywhere. Captain Hook then lulls him into security by talking to him like a baby, and says "Someone made a boo-boo. To the boo-boo box" The bad pirate then starts screaming bloody murder through his tears and fights it the whole way screaming until they lock him in a little box and drop scorpions in.

That is exactly how I felt. "Please! (sobbing) Don't make me go there! Not the boo-boo box!" Cameron, of course was surprised at all the emotional turmoil going on and also surprised that I'd say boo-boo box between sobs instead of Costco.

But, I have to say, I found a magical place just 20 minutes away from Westwood. It's called Manhatten Beach and that place is my freaking haven. I first started driving out there because I found out they have a Cafe Rio* and cello...I'm preggers so of course I'm gonna make a weekly trip there. Then oh wow! a real life shopping center! With a parking lot! and its free?! Cafe Rio sits in the middle of a shopping center that has totally bland normal places. Not specialty item stores, just regular places. Almost like it was the suburbs. Then, I discovered a Bed Bath and Beyond a block away that also offered lots of free parking. Then, when I was taking a backroad to try and get back to the 405 I discovered it...sitting there...in all its glory. Costco. A normal, average Costco.

I probably cried. I can't remember because I was just so happy and excited. And now Costco and I have made up. It may be a somewhat long distance relationship but it is sooo worth it.

So, long post. But point is I really love West LA now. Its strange though because I want some type of normalcy like parking lots and inexpensive grocery stores, but I love all of the weirdos. Just this weekend we went to the Santa Monica Pier, and passed an old guy in booty-bike shorts, mesh tank top, and long white knee socks roller blading. It was one of the best things I've ever seen. It was just so many stereotypes rolled into one I couldn't believe it. Even our church building in LA has a ton of weirdies. Just last weekend, President Uchtdorf (a high up in the LDS church) visited and spoke in a sacrament meeting while two old crazy ladies screamed in the foyer. A lady with a baby looked at me and was like, wow, only in LA. I told her I was from Orange County and she asked if the OC was like this...oh of course not. Its a lot more like Utah. Everyone has blonde hair, really cares about their appearance and how people perceive them. Of course you still get that in LA...I mean hello its LA. But alongside the boob-job blondes you get the overweight male in his late 40s who looks like he has an animal pelt on along with his european cut speedo.

Love it. Here's to la-la land.

*Cafe Rio is a Utah based tex-mex restaurant-esque place. Its extremely addicting. And if you have ever lived in Utah for some period of time you will make the trip to Manhatten Beach to get your smothered pork burrito on.