Regina George is a Fugly Biotch

Remember when you graduated from college? You graduated with those shiny ideals and an open mind. You were going to go out in the world and be a well educated woman/man and make a difference and not be judgmental.

And then you actually started associating with people. PEOPLE. Not students, or professors or other like-minded educated persons. People.

Ugh.

They are the worst.

And then you had to pay for your first real apartment. Not on campus housing. But a real, crap-hole, over-priced apartment. And your landlord sucked.

And then you got your first paycheck and thought "Who is this FICA biotch who's taking all my money??!!"*

But worst of all, you had to go renew your license at the DMV. You looked around at all of the PEOPLE and lost those shiny ideals and open mindedness.

You hear someone behind you say "Ew, I hate peppermint Joe-Joe's" and without hesitation you word vomit "F you!"

At this point in my life, I realize that I have the personality of a crotchety old person. Before, if someone told me that they don't like guacamole I'd be like "oh hey, thats cool, everyone's different and has different tastes, maybe in your childhood guacamole was associated with your dad leaving and blah blah blah thats cool." Now I'm like "dude. What? You don't like guacamole. Get out of here. Seriously. Take your plate and get out of my house."

So I've come in contact with people who say bizarre things and I literally cannot talk to them, because they are so irrational, I have to the room and go throw up. Here are a few:

• "I don't like ice cream." ........um..........WHAT?! You are mentally insane. I am about to admit you to a mental institution so I don't have to associate with your craziness and then go take a bath in Ben and Jerry's.
• "I don't like Disney Movies" -so what you're telling me is you don't like childhood magic. Actually, lets just boil that down to you do not like happiness. Stay away from my family, we don't need your filthy black heart around here. 
• "Oh and why would anyone want to go to Disneyland?" I've met a person who has actually said both of these phrases to me. She was dating my bro-in-law. Needless to say THAT ish ended. Thank heavens. 
• "I'm just not that into Harry Potter." This is probably the most outrageous of all statements to me. Maybe its because I was raised on feminism, the gospel, and Harry Potter, but I feel the bile of hatred bubbling up my throat whenever someone says this to me.
• "Um, Mean Girls was a weird movie." -Did you go to high school? Are you female? Your'e a home schooled man? Ok, then I will give you a pass just this once. But for everyone else my response is you are a grotsky little @#$&%.

Now, I do realize that many people will probably be offended by this. And, I also realize that my husband does not like Disneyland or Mean girls. Despite that, I still decided to marry him. I gambled and it paid off big. Also, sorry for all of the "biotch's" in this post.

*I don't care what party you belong to, just think about the first time you got a real, taxed paycheck. You thought those words exactly! admit it!