Favorite color: Doughnuts
I'm sorry guys, no pics this time.
But can I just say something? Is it ok for me to get a little political? Can I be open and frank about whats going on with the Republicans?
Cam and I watched some of the Republican debate a few nights ago. Be proud, because I actually sat through the majority of the debate: usually I cringe every .5 seconds, get up and pace around the dining room (haha, I should say "dining area"), attempt to sit and watch, get annoyed and then continue to pace. I just, hmm...I just hate politicians. I see them as slimy and skeezy and obnoxious in every way possible. I feel less dirty watching slutty mud wrestling than watching politicians debate/exist. Too harsh? Refer to paragraph 2.
Lets continue being frank: although hubbers and I view ourselves as moderates we are rooting for Mitt. Are we biased? Oh, of course. But that doesn't mean that we sincerely believe he is the best candidate for the job. I like him. I like his hair. I like his politics. I like that he was governor of Massachusetts and Massachusetts still likes him. I like that people call him a moderate. I like that he took the SLC olympics from way in the red to profitable. I like that he is a family man, and that for the life of the press, they can't dig up any dirty secrets on him. I like that he is a man of faith. But most of all, I like that he is kind and not a total douche. I believe that with the right congress, Mitt could be a GREAT president.*
But then tonight I heard that Gingrich won South Carolina. Holy #$&%. Are you kidding me? Gingrich?! For reasons unbeknownst to me, I despise Newt Gingrich. Oh wait, yeah I do remember why I hate Gingrich. Because he is disgusting. He is the definition of a "good" politician because he is the biggest skeeze on the planet. He cheated on TWO of his wives. He left his first wife when she was battling cancer to be with his mistress. Married the mistress, then cheated on her with another mistress. You know what that tells me? That he has absolutely no self control. For heavens sake if you can't keep it in your pants when your wife is battling cancer, you are the most selfish, horrible human being. Although he did a good job of spinning the media frenzy over his marriage to make them look terrible, no one wants a president who has no self control. If Newt Gingrich becomes president, it is pretty much the equivalent of flushing the country and its reputation down the toilet.
Look I told you I would be frank. And if you are offended because you like Gingrich, then I don't understand why we were ever friends in the first place. Yeah, I'm that serious about it.
Also, my impression of Gingrich is colored because of Conan. One episode Conan was showing facts about each of the Republican candidates and Gingrich's stats were "Favorite color: doughnuts." I died. So now whenever I see Gingrich on TV I keep thinking about how he's an idiot and doughnuts.
And if you were curious here is how I would react to meeting each candidate:
Mitt Romney: I'd give him a high 5, and then a hug.
Rick Santorum: awkwardly smile and then try to melt into a crowd so I wouldn't have to talk to him.
Rick Perry: I would say "Go Texas!"
Ron Paul: Literally every time he opens his mouth all I can say is "Ron Paul Revolution!!!"...and then give him a high 5
Newt Gingrich: Smash a doughnut in his face, and then kick him in his gut.
Michelle Bachman: Say, "girlfriend, I'm really proud of you. We may not agree on everything, and I'm pretty sure you pulled out of the race but good for you for trying. Nice work."
Hermaine Caine: Say, "haha wow! Hermain Caine! what were you thinking with that weird ad?! Good for you for supporting Colbert. yeah, cool...um, I gotta go."
So thats what I'm thinking. I know I'm biased, but either deal with it or go make a holiday wreath.
*I think if Obama had the right Congress, he could've made some powerful change...or been more effective during the economic downturn. I think Obama is a really good guy, and I'm pretty sure the media can't dig up any dirt secrets on him either. And I know saying that I like obama is the equivalent of screaming the f word in a church to some people.
But can I just say something? Is it ok for me to get a little political? Can I be open and frank about whats going on with the Republicans?
Cam and I watched some of the Republican debate a few nights ago. Be proud, because I actually sat through the majority of the debate: usually I cringe every .5 seconds, get up and pace around the dining room (haha, I should say "dining area"), attempt to sit and watch, get annoyed and then continue to pace. I just, hmm...I just hate politicians. I see them as slimy and skeezy and obnoxious in every way possible. I feel less dirty watching slutty mud wrestling than watching politicians debate/exist. Too harsh? Refer to paragraph 2.
Lets continue being frank: although hubbers and I view ourselves as moderates we are rooting for Mitt. Are we biased? Oh, of course. But that doesn't mean that we sincerely believe he is the best candidate for the job. I like him. I like his hair. I like his politics. I like that he was governor of Massachusetts and Massachusetts still likes him. I like that people call him a moderate. I like that he took the SLC olympics from way in the red to profitable. I like that he is a family man, and that for the life of the press, they can't dig up any dirty secrets on him. I like that he is a man of faith. But most of all, I like that he is kind and not a total douche. I believe that with the right congress, Mitt could be a GREAT president.*
But then tonight I heard that Gingrich won South Carolina. Holy #$&%. Are you kidding me? Gingrich?! For reasons unbeknownst to me, I despise Newt Gingrich. Oh wait, yeah I do remember why I hate Gingrich. Because he is disgusting. He is the definition of a "good" politician because he is the biggest skeeze on the planet. He cheated on TWO of his wives. He left his first wife when she was battling cancer to be with his mistress. Married the mistress, then cheated on her with another mistress. You know what that tells me? That he has absolutely no self control. For heavens sake if you can't keep it in your pants when your wife is battling cancer, you are the most selfish, horrible human being. Although he did a good job of spinning the media frenzy over his marriage to make them look terrible, no one wants a president who has no self control. If Newt Gingrich becomes president, it is pretty much the equivalent of flushing the country and its reputation down the toilet.
Look I told you I would be frank. And if you are offended because you like Gingrich, then I don't understand why we were ever friends in the first place. Yeah, I'm that serious about it.
Also, my impression of Gingrich is colored because of Conan. One episode Conan was showing facts about each of the Republican candidates and Gingrich's stats were "Favorite color: doughnuts." I died. So now whenever I see Gingrich on TV I keep thinking about how he's an idiot and doughnuts.
And if you were curious here is how I would react to meeting each candidate:
Mitt Romney: I'd give him a high 5, and then a hug.
Rick Santorum: awkwardly smile and then try to melt into a crowd so I wouldn't have to talk to him.
Rick Perry: I would say "Go Texas!"
Ron Paul: Literally every time he opens his mouth all I can say is "Ron Paul Revolution!!!"...and then give him a high 5
Newt Gingrich: Smash a doughnut in his face, and then kick him in his gut.
Michelle Bachman: Say, "girlfriend, I'm really proud of you. We may not agree on everything, and I'm pretty sure you pulled out of the race but good for you for trying. Nice work."
Hermaine Caine: Say, "haha wow! Hermain Caine! what were you thinking with that weird ad?! Good for you for supporting Colbert. yeah, cool...um, I gotta go."
So thats what I'm thinking. I know I'm biased, but either deal with it or go make a holiday wreath.
*I think if Obama had the right Congress, he could've made some powerful change...or been more effective during the economic downturn. I think Obama is a really good guy, and I'm pretty sure the media can't dig up any dirt secrets on him either. And I know saying that I like obama is the equivalent of screaming the f word in a church to some people.
Freaking LOVE you.
ReplyDeleteI hate Newt...like really hate him. He is a dirty man.
I will be frank cause I ain't afraid...we are Obama lovers. We are democrats at heart and at the core of who we are. which in Orange County is the equivalent of probably murder, I think people are going to make us wear a scarlet letter, don't you worry last election we were living down here and we had Obama stickers on our car and people in our ward no joke thought it was awful. We then let the cat out of the bag that they were OUR stickers on OUR cars. Funny really it was I tell you what.
However ROMNEY should take the Rep nomination for sure. He is the best out of the ones to chose from. However, how funny is the Ron Paul? He makes me laugh so hard.
It is all a MESS though I am afraid
I agree with all of this. Except that I would have the santorum reaction with all of them. Except I'd probably want a picture with Ron Paul... And I'd probably hit on Romney a little. And Obama is the Muslim AntiChrist- oh wait no that's my parents opinion...I'd probably hit on Obama a little too
ReplyDeletePretty much, if you can't be faithful to the people who are closest to you who you've made the most intimate promises to... how in the *%^^ are we supposed to believe you are going to be faithful to millions of people that you've never met and don't give a $%(* about?!?!?! You're not going to, that's what. So basically, I don't even give a darn about Newt Gingrich's politics, because his word is worth less than nothing imo. I guess we get to be friends still since I feel pretty strong about it too ;) Hoorah!
ReplyDeleteBasically found out more skeezy ridonkulous crap about Obamacare, and more than ever I am dying for Mitt to get elected and repeal the dang thing. Pretty much I am freaking out. The end.
And I love you. PLEASE oh PLEASE oh PLEASE can we live in the same place so that I can maintain some dang sanity? And get a good laugh at least once a week??? ;)