I'm a Fire Sign! Watch me Float Away

 After two nights of absolutely no sleep followed by amounts of caffeine my body should not be able to tolerate I've hit what feels like euphoria. Or possibly this is what people feel like on uppers...either way I'm on a high, not in my right mind and it feels like the best possible time to write something on the internet!

So here goes!

You know the question I hate the most? Like absolutely effing hate so much I will just not respond to you and possibly sever all ties? "How are you doing?"

Ugh. F me. I HATE it!

There's something wrong with my brain that, while I'm an incredible liar, I can't just say "I'm fine!" Or "I'm functioning!" The whole "I'm functioning" part isn't false, but I'm just functioning in a way, that....hmmm....how do I say it?

Like, yes, you DO see me standing here but that is because I'm actually an empty cornhusk of a person. Just, empty. A dried cornhusk with absolutely no corn. You could make a little pioneer doll out of me, dress me up and carry me along the plains with you and I'd be like "eh, okay." And I'm able to stand because I've been stuffed with crumpled up newspaper to make me look full and sit upright. 

But I'm also a fire sign, so the smallest spark is going to light my crumpled newspaper insides on fire and I'm just going to float away like a hot air balloon. 

Buuuuuuuut NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR THAT! Also I REALLY don't want to get into it with people and have them give me pity and/or life advice and/or "well my friend had something similar." NO! Leave me to my cornhusk ways! Your life advice and stories and pity are not welcome! Also people tend to not understand me when I say I'm a cornhusk and I JUST DON'T WANT TO GET INTO IT.

And who among us is not a cornhusk person, really? Maybe your insides are filled with crystals, self loathing, or whatever. Don't deny it. And let me just have my insides be filled with crinkled newspaper.