The Jones Crusade Revisited
Holy cow if I see one more Facebook post on abortion I'm going to lose my freaking mind. Lets just switch up the convo a bit and talk about ME!!!
We last left off with a description of my Wharton experience (on a scale of 1-10 it was an eggplant emoji--in a decidedly UNsexual way.) I also briefly touched on the Jones family crusade from Philadelphia to Dallas via car. I guess we can go back to that because I have a few things I want to note from each of the states from that experience.
VIRGINIA:
Previously, my only experience with Virginia was once in college I accidentally claimed a girl was from West Virginia when she was really from "Just Virginia." Aaaand then the handful of times we drove through "just Virginia" on our way to DC. It's a breathtakingly beautiful state. If you don't believe me just google images of the Shenandoah Valley. It straight made my bleeding liberal heart want to shack up on a Virginia Plantation, read biographies on Jefferson and just LIVE that pastoral life.
We drove about 4 hours through the night so it was a big surprise when we woke up the next day in the Blue Ridge Mountains. The Blue Ridge Mountains did not make me want to live that pastoral life, but instead run screaming for the bathroom because of its diarrhea causing mountain food. And also do some anti-meth campaigns.*
The deeper we drove into Virginia the smaller and farther apart the settlements became. The mountain people also became more brazen at openly staring at us when we stopped for gas or food. It was unnerving. At one point I actually started to hear dueling banjos--and I didn't know if it was in my head or if it wasACTUALLY happening? Was I screaming "DON'T DELIVERANCE ME OR MY KIDS!" in my head or was I ACTUALLY SCREAMING IT?
That scenario is filed away under "Mysteries of the Blue Ridge Mountains."
NORTH CAROLINA:
Cam's mom told us we should consider making a detour to a house called the Biltmore that one of Cameron's ancestors built. I mean, I'm all about that spirit of Elijah so yes! Let's go check out this quaint sounding abode. Here's a picture:
Yeah...check that out. So this required me to scream at Cameron is he secretly rich? Does he have this family Biltmore money and if so, why are we moving ourselves?**
The detour was well worth the half day and we found ourselves conspiring to make it back to the estate someday for a full on family vacation.
TENNESSEE:
We drove through the Smoky Mountains to get from North Carolina to Tennessee and those mountains made me believe that I could be into the whole camping and being one with nature thing. Cam and I kept singing "Davy Crockett" on the phone together. I also noticed that just as soon as we crossed the state line into Tennessee EVERYONE was happy and nice. I mean, I don't know what they're putting in the water to keep everyone so damn nice but whatever it is, sign me up. We stayed the night in Knoxville and were greeted by multiple college sports teams staying the night there. This would usually be a personalized degree of hell for me, but hey. It was Tennessee. There's obviously something in the water because there were no stripper/rape scandals from ANY of those college sports teams that night.
Other amazing things about Tennessee: the produce at the grocery stores is superb. The grocery stores are superb. It is basically the most beautiful place I have ever seen. I want to move to Nashville and just straight nosh on it's bbq all day. I never heard dueling banjos in my head.
ARKANSAS:
Holy mother of enormous dragonflies. Arkansas is like the MLB of dragonflies--they're all on the juice--otherwise how else would they get that big?! They legit looked like smallish dragons.
It's a good thing Little Rock is in Arkansas because otherwise I might've written off the whole state as a small dragon infested piece of swampy flat land. Little Rock was legit, and I wouldn't have been mad to stay a day or so there.
TEXAS:
You know the second you cross into Texas from Arkansas because there are signs, flags, and very proud gun carrying citizens happy to welcome you. You also know when because your car's temperature actually reads as "hell".
So we made it to Dallas. There was a whole crew of men from our church there to help us move in that night (tears emoji). And there was also an In-n-Out there to greet me for dinner (double tears emoji.)
I really love it here. I mean, totally unexpected because Texans scared me when I was at BYU. But once you're on their turf, they're about as friendly as people from Tennessee.
We live in the heart of the suburbs which means the schools are unreal. The special ed here in Frisco is basically the best I've ever heard of. Joshua is THRIVING, making friends (special needs and not) and there's not a day that goes by that I don't think, "Thank goodness we're here."
*true story, at a mountain gas station a young man missing most of his teeth asked to sell me his umbrella so he could get some gas.
**Apparently, Cameron's ancestor was George Washington Vanderbilt II. And that Vanderbilt money did not make it all the way down to Cameron.
We last left off with a description of my Wharton experience (on a scale of 1-10 it was an eggplant emoji--in a decidedly UNsexual way.) I also briefly touched on the Jones family crusade from Philadelphia to Dallas via car. I guess we can go back to that because I have a few things I want to note from each of the states from that experience.
VIRGINIA:
Previously, my only experience with Virginia was once in college I accidentally claimed a girl was from West Virginia when she was really from "Just Virginia." Aaaand then the handful of times we drove through "just Virginia" on our way to DC. It's a breathtakingly beautiful state. If you don't believe me just google images of the Shenandoah Valley. It straight made my bleeding liberal heart want to shack up on a Virginia Plantation, read biographies on Jefferson and just LIVE that pastoral life.
We drove about 4 hours through the night so it was a big surprise when we woke up the next day in the Blue Ridge Mountains. The Blue Ridge Mountains did not make me want to live that pastoral life, but instead run screaming for the bathroom because of its diarrhea causing mountain food. And also do some anti-meth campaigns.*
The deeper we drove into Virginia the smaller and farther apart the settlements became. The mountain people also became more brazen at openly staring at us when we stopped for gas or food. It was unnerving. At one point I actually started to hear dueling banjos--and I didn't know if it was in my head or if it wasACTUALLY happening? Was I screaming "DON'T DELIVERANCE ME OR MY KIDS!" in my head or was I ACTUALLY SCREAMING IT?
That scenario is filed away under "Mysteries of the Blue Ridge Mountains."
This isn't in Virginia. This was the pic I took as we started to drive away from Naval Square
NORTH CAROLINA:
Cam's mom told us we should consider making a detour to a house called the Biltmore that one of Cameron's ancestors built. I mean, I'm all about that spirit of Elijah so yes! Let's go check out this quaint sounding abode. Here's a picture:
The detour was well worth the half day and we found ourselves conspiring to make it back to the estate someday for a full on family vacation.
Humidity, poor camera angle and poor lighting can't get this guy down! Look at that happy face.
TENNESSEE:
We drove through the Smoky Mountains to get from North Carolina to Tennessee and those mountains made me believe that I could be into the whole camping and being one with nature thing. Cam and I kept singing "Davy Crockett" on the phone together. I also noticed that just as soon as we crossed the state line into Tennessee EVERYONE was happy and nice. I mean, I don't know what they're putting in the water to keep everyone so damn nice but whatever it is, sign me up. We stayed the night in Knoxville and were greeted by multiple college sports teams staying the night there. This would usually be a personalized degree of hell for me, but hey. It was Tennessee. There's obviously something in the water because there were no stripper/rape scandals from ANY of those college sports teams that night.
Other amazing things about Tennessee: the produce at the grocery stores is superb. The grocery stores are superb. It is basically the most beautiful place I have ever seen. I want to move to Nashville and just straight nosh on it's bbq all day. I never heard dueling banjos in my head.
ARKANSAS:
Holy mother of enormous dragonflies. Arkansas is like the MLB of dragonflies--they're all on the juice--otherwise how else would they get that big?! They legit looked like smallish dragons.
It's a good thing Little Rock is in Arkansas because otherwise I might've written off the whole state as a small dragon infested piece of swampy flat land. Little Rock was legit, and I wouldn't have been mad to stay a day or so there.
"Wolverine takes his boys to the Little Rock splash pad."
TEXAS:
You know the second you cross into Texas from Arkansas because there are signs, flags, and very proud gun carrying citizens happy to welcome you. You also know when because your car's temperature actually reads as "hell".
So we made it to Dallas. There was a whole crew of men from our church there to help us move in that night (tears emoji). And there was also an In-n-Out there to greet me for dinner (double tears emoji.)
I really love it here. I mean, totally unexpected because Texans scared me when I was at BYU. But once you're on their turf, they're about as friendly as people from Tennessee.
We live in the heart of the suburbs which means the schools are unreal. The special ed here in Frisco is basically the best I've ever heard of. Joshua is THRIVING, making friends (special needs and not) and there's not a day that goes by that I don't think, "Thank goodness we're here."
Texas=big machinery. No ones feeling insecure about their manhood in this state.
First day of school! I was a mess and didn't take a picture before school so I snapped this at our celebration dinner. Also twins.
Nothing says Texas like big air conditioned movie theaters with fully reclining seats. #godblesstexas Also check out my mother's superb cheekbones!
Happy Halloween from the suburbs!! Also it was like 90 degrees.
Pony rides are also, very, very texan.
*true story, at a mountain gas station a young man missing most of his teeth asked to sell me his umbrella so he could get some gas.
**Apparently, Cameron's ancestor was George Washington Vanderbilt II. And that Vanderbilt money did not make it all the way down to Cameron.
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