Urban Myths

Two things I need to say before we begin:

1. You know when you go to watch a comedy and then it turns out to be all political or overly emotional? Yes, that was my last blog post. I am sorry about that, and I will make sure to continue to make fun of people in the future.
2. And on that note, I've gotten feed back that a lot of people thought my talk about Upwhips was pointed and about a single person. I'll assure you, that I was definitely not the case. I'm not so mean spirited that I'll make fun of one person (except for that one time in 2010.) Darlings, I ridicule en masse. Also, I'm a real hippy dippy love everyone type of person.* So here's the secret: Georgia O'Keefes are not vaginas, they're just flowers. Rorschachs are not penises, they're just inkblot tests. And my blog is not the burn book, it's just my over the top writing outlet.

Ok, I feel much better! How about you? Are you a little concerned that I already mentioned genitalia this early in a post? Just, yeah...hop off my blog now. So, since we last wrote everyone has asked how my summer was. Asking me how my summer was is the functional equivalent of asking your uncle Stan how fighting in Vietnam was: there's just somethings people don't want to relive and will only discuss with their therapists.**

But I survived. And I got tan. And because of those two things I felt invincible! I really believed that I could handle anything emotionally--and then we decided to potty train Josh. Cue more crying and "I can't do this"es. And then a week later he got it. It just clicked! Oh my joy!

Oh my sorrow when he still poops his pants every few days! I am never more disgusted in my life than when I am scrubbing poop out of size xs Toy Story underwear. But we will overcome. And I will be stronger for all the feces scrubbing. Some people run marathons or participate in triathalons--I just parent Josh. Thats about all the strength I've got.***

Okokokokokokokok here are some pictures of my boys from over the summer:

Tall sailing ships festival on the Delaware River. He was way into the ships and way into the folksy pirate music they were playing

Joshy at his favorite place in the universe: Longwood Gardens. Don't worry Dupont, we'll just move in to your old house and I promise to vacuum at least once a week.

Rory, is, how do I say this...absolute perfection.

A full week of sanity brought to you by Nana Jones. God Bless her.

Fourth of July in Old City! And a photo of us with a life size caste of Benjamin Franklin.

Uncle Ry Ry came to town. Oh, and ya, thats my butt in the left corner. 

Grandma! And Rory shyly waving to the camera. too much.

I love this picture because it perfectly describes my relationship with my little brother. Also, yes I did lose some weight this summer^ and yes, I am mega sucking in my stomach.

MVP pic of the summer

This. This happened like 3 times a day this summer

I think this was a Pennsylvania Dutch festival at Reading Terminal Market.

He's a supermodel dreamboat. Dinner on our 7th anniversary.

Post swim.

We're the best at family pictures. At the Jersey Shore.

Why yes! All these pictures are from my Instagram and snapchat! What?! You haven't added me? ADD ME!^^ So, I'm back. I haven't written because I don't want to talk about summer and also, man! uploading pictures is a pain! I really need to get a better blog platform. And stop eating donuts. And exercising more. 

*I am not a real hippy dippy love everyone type of person. But, I'm also not a grade A yatch.

**Ok fine you want the gory details?! Everyday (multiple times a day) I locked myself in the bathroom or a closet and cried and said "I can't do this, I can't do this, I can't do this." I would be in there less than 30 seconds before I told myself to nut up and go deal the demon spawn I was in charge of. 

***This message brought to you by Ben and Jerry's "Tonight Dough" and "Peanut Butter World"
^ I've gained it all back.
^^Not to sound too desperate..