Parentingwise
Have you seen pictures that people post of themselves and their children on Instagram or Facebook? The ones where the title is "Pure Joy" and all parties involved have perfectly coiffed hair?
Is it just me or do you also think or say "Ugh. whatever." when you spot these pictures.
I certainly do.
Have you seen those movies where parents of children are constantly screaming, stressed out and have the worst sex lives ever with their partners?
Do you ever think "yikes. I'm never having kids...oh wait."
Can I stop for a moment and call BS on all of it?! All of it. I'm calling BS on how everyone portrays parenting on facebook, movies, everything. Every now and then they will be spot on, but for the most part, its total BS.
I'm going to get real here. Sometimes parenting sucks, and sometimes parenting is awesome. It's not even 50/50. Somedays its 80/20, and others its 40/60. Are you judging me yet?
When I was pregnant with Josh people were constantly telling me how my life was now over, and "wow, you think its hard now? Wait until that little sucker is a teenager!" Or the fortune telling of how I'd never sleep, I'd never shower, and that my tiny insignificant life as I knew it would soon revolve completely around the little animal--the one sucking life from me--in my uterus.
Then I gave birth, and all I heard was "oh, what an angel! Your life is now complete. Having a baby is 3 cups of heaven, 2 tablespoons of angel kisses 1/2 cup of fairy wings and a pinch of everything wonderful."
Well, I had Joshua and I've never regained the sleep I lost laboring from 6pm to 6am over a year ago. But the love and joy I feel when that little boy gives me a hug and a kiss, complete with a few pats on the back is amazing. I never thought I'd want to shove a random kid in the face for stealing my sons car and then biting him; then again I never thought I'd want to shove my own kid in the face for throwing his dinner at me and then hitting me in the face with his toy car.
I have a lot of contradicting emotions, huh?
For the most part, I don't like to dwell on the hard and tiring aspects of parenting. When I do that I usually end up eating my feelings a la Ben and Jerry's and watching 7 episodes of Ugly Betty. I know that when I'm calm, composed, and positive, Joshua is too. Kids are smarter than most people think--they can sense emotions and usually react to what they perceive is going on. If you can be calm and happy, your children will eventually try to also be calm and happy.
But then it gets rough. And I mean rough. Joshua, if you are someday reading this 1. I'm really proud that you can read now and 2. I love you forever, and always, to the moon and back, no matter what. But when you refused to eat your vegetables tonight, and all the preceding nights, that was maddening. I mean, contrary to what you might think, you cannot live off of hotdogs and quesadillas. Also, that tantrum you threw when I told you to come back inside was terrible. And embarrassing.
Then there are times that are so terrible, and so bad, that its hilarious. Like when I changed your diaper and you promptly stood up (bare buttocks and all) and went and pooped in the middle of the carpet. And then ran away and pooped in the pantry. And then that time when I sat down and my foot smeared in something and I realized, all too late, that, you guessed it, it was poop. Then the time that you started drinking sand from your bucket in your sandbox and threw up on me a minute later. All 3 times I was so shocked and appalled that it was just hilarious.
And if you don't have children and find me totally disgusting, don't worry, you'll get there.
It just won't be what you thought.
Is it just me or do you also think or say "Ugh. whatever." when you spot these pictures.
I certainly do.
Have you seen those movies where parents of children are constantly screaming, stressed out and have the worst sex lives ever with their partners?
Do you ever think "yikes. I'm never having kids...oh wait."
Can I stop for a moment and call BS on all of it?! All of it. I'm calling BS on how everyone portrays parenting on facebook, movies, everything. Every now and then they will be spot on, but for the most part, its total BS.
I'm going to get real here. Sometimes parenting sucks, and sometimes parenting is awesome. It's not even 50/50. Somedays its 80/20, and others its 40/60. Are you judging me yet?
When I was pregnant with Josh people were constantly telling me how my life was now over, and "wow, you think its hard now? Wait until that little sucker is a teenager!" Or the fortune telling of how I'd never sleep, I'd never shower, and that my tiny insignificant life as I knew it would soon revolve completely around the little animal--the one sucking life from me--in my uterus.
Then I gave birth, and all I heard was "oh, what an angel! Your life is now complete. Having a baby is 3 cups of heaven, 2 tablespoons of angel kisses 1/2 cup of fairy wings and a pinch of everything wonderful."
Well, I had Joshua and I've never regained the sleep I lost laboring from 6pm to 6am over a year ago. But the love and joy I feel when that little boy gives me a hug and a kiss, complete with a few pats on the back is amazing. I never thought I'd want to shove a random kid in the face for stealing my sons car and then biting him; then again I never thought I'd want to shove my own kid in the face for throwing his dinner at me and then hitting me in the face with his toy car.
I have a lot of contradicting emotions, huh?
For the most part, I don't like to dwell on the hard and tiring aspects of parenting. When I do that I usually end up eating my feelings a la Ben and Jerry's and watching 7 episodes of Ugly Betty. I know that when I'm calm, composed, and positive, Joshua is too. Kids are smarter than most people think--they can sense emotions and usually react to what they perceive is going on. If you can be calm and happy, your children will eventually try to also be calm and happy.
But then it gets rough. And I mean rough. Joshua, if you are someday reading this 1. I'm really proud that you can read now and 2. I love you forever, and always, to the moon and back, no matter what. But when you refused to eat your vegetables tonight, and all the preceding nights, that was maddening. I mean, contrary to what you might think, you cannot live off of hotdogs and quesadillas. Also, that tantrum you threw when I told you to come back inside was terrible. And embarrassing.
Then there are times that are so terrible, and so bad, that its hilarious. Like when I changed your diaper and you promptly stood up (bare buttocks and all) and went and pooped in the middle of the carpet. And then ran away and pooped in the pantry. And then that time when I sat down and my foot smeared in something and I realized, all too late, that, you guessed it, it was poop. Then the time that you started drinking sand from your bucket in your sandbox and threw up on me a minute later. All 3 times I was so shocked and appalled that it was just hilarious.
And if you don't have children and find me totally disgusting, don't worry, you'll get there.
It just won't be what you thought.
Hahaha, love this post. You hit close to home. I'm hoping to never ACTUALLY shove my own kid in the face.
ReplyDeleteLoved this entire thing. Laughed out loud about the poop. Can't wait!
ReplyDeleteNever a truer post on parenting!
ReplyDeleteKatie, I miss you. I like that you don't glorify everything, nor do you hate your new life as a mom. People telling me I have it easy now and it will only get worse is the most maddening thing in the world!! I, for one, can't wait to have teenagers :)
ReplyDeleteI just re-read this and seriously almost woke Jordan up I was shaking the bed so much from my laughter (I'm lying in bed with my laptop). This is just too much. And I always look at the perfectly coifed pictures and say "whatever." always. and I don't even have kids. Pretty sure having a kid poop all over my house and then stepping in it would not be better than law school finals, but reading about you doing it sure is funnier. ;)
ReplyDelete